2017: A Recap

This year was rough - I mean real rough.  Not that terrible things happened constantly, but enough absolutely horrible things happened within such a short period of time, that I was left completely worn.  The crazy thing is that it seems as if everyone I know dealt with some sort of tragedy that made 2017 really suck.

When I sat down to think about all the things that happened this year, I was honestly completely dreading it, until I started to write it all down. There have been so many incredible moments in 2017, that I can honestly say it's actually been pretty wonderful.

January: I did the Christmas Bird Count. We received engagement photos. I ran my first half marathon, went to Disneyland, threw a surprise 30th birthday party for Brian, and my bridesmaids got their dresses.

February: Baby Corey was born, I started aerial yoga, and began my 100 Days of Fitness Challenge.

March: I tried the "Gray Stuff" at Disneyland, watched Melissa get married, and went to the bridal preview at our wedding venue

April: I took Cobie and Brian to visit friends at Hartland Christian Camp, fed the homeless with New Hope Street Ministry, surprised Brian's mom with a spontaneous trip to Disneyland, helped clean up the Auburn State Recreational Area for Earth Day, bawled my eyes out at Zach and Emily's wedding, and had a bridesmaids night with my ladies.

May: I had photos taken in honor of 3 years of freedom from domestic violence, tried Disney Bounding for the first time, ran a Disney 10k, Brian got baptized, and Jadelynn graduated from 6th grade.

June: We found tuxes for Brian and our Groomsmen, figured out our table numbers, and enjoyed a night out with my bridesmaids.

July: I took a trip to Denver to work an event with for KING & COUNTRY, enjoyed the lake with family, baseball games, and FINALLY was able to complete the Vitruvian Man at Aerial Yoga. We celebrated the 4th of July and my friendiversary with Bri. Brian made our guest book. I traveled to Washington for a 3-Day Festival, our wedding invitations came in, and Meloney surprised me with a day out as I faced one of the most difficult months of my life.  Brian and I also escaped to Lake Tahoe to try to get out of the sadness we had faced through this month.

August: I had a night out with my girls at Aerial Yoga, 10 Year High School Reunion, Brian moved to our new home. I went to SoCal for Harvest Crusade, saw a Padres game, the eclipse, escaped a room with my sister, and went kayaking in the ocean. I also got my tattoo touched up and saw One Republic with Jessica.

September: After months of planning, we served 130 moms at our Single Moms Event.  Celebrated my Bridal shower, Jadelynn's 12th birthday, and hung out with Sarah and her bridal party to celebrate her.  We got the best dang couches in the world, and Lara and Kalie threw me a surprise Bridal Shower at work.

October: Jessica and I danced with The Fitness Marshall.  I did my hair and makeup run through for the wedding, collected thousands of pieces of soap for WEAVE.  We got the PERFECT wedding cake topper from Meloney, my wedding jewelry, my dad made a miraculous recovery after dying twice from a heart attack. We celebrated my bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, Treat Yoself Spa Day with my bridesmaids, Welcome to the Family drinks, and FINALLY had our Wedding Day.  Immediately after, we headed to Belize, where our honeymoon was literally everything we hoped it would be. October did have some bumps, but overall it was a month of healing and new beginnings.

November: Meloney and I enjoyed Brett Eldredge and Luke Bryan. I helped build 1500 bikes for kids, ran another half marathon, celebrated Stacie and her Bachelorette Party in Reno - where I dominated against Bri (who wins everything) at Sumo Wrestling. The Eagles beat the Cowboys, I spent time with Meloney, Chris, and their little ones at Apple Hill and brought in my birthday with a game night, gifts, and cake with my husband and the best brother and sister in-love in the world!  My husband took me to The Melting Pot for my birthday dinner, and we celebrated Thanksgiving 3 times (my new family, first family, and with my Jadelynn family).


December: This month has been busy!  We kicked the month off by watching Jacob and Stacie get married, rang the bell for the Salvation Army, had winter summit with the Events Team, won the ugly sweater contest with the #GoldenGirls at the office. We celebrated our volunteers at a Volunteer Christmas party, went to Disneyland, watched the Eagles beat the Rams LIVE (thanks, Brian), explored Christmas lights with David and Christina, got a fire pit and market lights for our backyard, cut a million inches off of my hair, got our wedding video, saw the Impractical Jokers live, and spent 2 weeks puppy-sitting Eugene. Lara and I presented the first ever K-LOVE Share the Love Award to Destiny Church and Community Center. For the first time in our home, Brian and I hosted the 5th Annual Christmas party with some of our best friends.  I helped the Salvation Army in giving 2500 families a Christmas, brought Christmas to over 30 boys at the Sacramento Children's Home, and baked cookies with Nikki, and Corey. Brian and I went to another ugly sweater party, spent Christmas with my new family, my first family, and with my dad - which led to a spontaneous Oregon trip to pet baby tigers and other cool animals. We threw a surprise party for Jackie, beat ANOTHER escape room (17 down - #undefeated), and tonight I'll bring in the New Year with Melony, Chris, my nieces, Jadelynn and her sister, and my wonderful husband.

This year has been a year with lots of tears, an insane amount of restless nights, stress, broken relationships, and a lots and lots of really hard moments. However, a spark of hope was found through prayer and complete surrender of all of those tough things to God.  He came through with answered prayers, restored friendships, much-needed closure, and by giving me some of the most incredible blessings I get to call family.

This year I'm grateful for long drives, runs, talks, and experiences with Bri.  I'm grateful for my sister Tara, who has shown me that no matter what I am loved and that it's okay to take time for myself. I am grateful for Meloney and Chris, who have prayed for me, talked me down from really broken moments, whisked me away on adventures, and always seem to know the right thing to say. Adventure after adventure with Jessica and double date nights with Christina and David.  I am thankful my dad is still here and that we have the opportunity to create a real father-daughter relationship. I'm blessed to have the most incredible mom and to be getting even closer with my sister Jacki and with Jadelynn's mom, Tabitha.

Most of all, I am so so blessed to have the most incredible husband in the world. Brian is my biggest fan and cheerleader.  You have been more patient with me than I could have ever asked for.  You've cried with me, held me in silence when I needed it, and cheered me on and prayed with and for me when I felt like I couldn't take on any more. You are without a doubt, the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.  I love you more than words could ever express.

2018 is nearly here, and I'm moving into the new year with high expectations for a lot of new, wonderful memories to be made.

-jennilea

Discipline Over Motivation

I've been on this journey now for 72 days.  Guys, I've worked out for 72 days straight!  It certainly hasn't been easy and yesterday I hit a wall.  I'm seeing progress, but for some reason I was completely lacking any sort of real motivation.  I didn't know what it was that put me in such a broken state, but it sure had an impact on my attitude as I pushed through 300 reps for the night. 

It all got a little more clear today though, when I was able to rest up and step away from how I felt last night.  I'm exhausted in life.  Work is really busy, wedding planning has become slightly more stressful as choices are getting harder to make, I miss my friends and family - those relationships that I've worked so hard to build but hardly get to enjoy these days, and I'm working out for 100 freaking days straight!  These are certainly smaller problems to what I've faced in the past, but I'm just tired.

That's where discipline comes in though.  Why did I start this journey?  Because I wasn't happy with where I was.  I wanted change.  I wanted to create a new habit. I wanted to better myself.  So that means that several things in life are going to change in order to make this fit into any and all areas of my life.  If I want to see change happen, I have to stay disciplined even when I can't see exactly what motivated me to start.

If I've got work or plans to hang out with my people, that means I'm waking up early or shutting the gym down.  I'm wrapping it around my life and forcing it to fit in because I know that once I hit my goals, it will be worth it. I know that even going in there for at least 30 minutes of my day is going to make me feel better. 

I'm tired right now and life is busy, but it's worth it. I just have to stay consistent.

"Discipline always has victory over motivation.  We aren't always motivated, 

but discipline always wins." 

                                                - Jamie Gomez.

Discipline tells me that I am going to keep going even when I feel exhausted and can't see where I'm headed.  The minute I step away from the consistency I've worked so hard to build is the minute I break and return to old habits.  It's not easy to change your body.  It feels foreign and challenges you in some pretty major ways - but it's possible.  You have to want it.  You have to give up excuses and chase after it with everything you've got in you.

I'm not giving up.  When I'm tired, I'm going to push even harder.  There are 28 days left in this challenge, but I know it won't stop then.  This is my passion.  I'm making changes and going places.

-jennilea

"When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending."

I was raped. 

There. I said it. But it doesn't feel good to say - not that it should "feel good" to say. It certainly isn't easy to say either. I say it quietly and with hesitation - almost as if I should be ashamed that it happened, but why? Why do I feel ashamed of something I had no control over; why am I ashamed that my "no" wasn't good enough? 

What if I had fought harder?

What if I had screamed? 

What if I haven't allowed myself to be isolated with this person?

What about my conversation could have been changed so he wouldn't see me as his next victim?

Victim. I hate that word and refused to be labeled as such. In this moment - I take back my life. In this moment I am overcoming my best kept secret from a night of regrets and "what ifs" because the thing is that this person made a decision to take my choice from me. This person took away my right to  "no!" 

As the night replays like a nightmare in my dreams I am haunted by that simple question of why...

18 years old and attending a friend's birthday party - I had decided to sleep over. It seemed safe - everyone was sleeping over. What I didn't expect was to be woken up by someone I had known so well, drunk, and forceful. 

No! 

No! 

Stop!  No! 

At this point I am crying. I'm fighting. He was stronger. 

Just like that - Something I had decided to save until marriage was stolen. I was broken. What's worse - he denied it happened. 

For whatever reason, I told myself it didn't happen too - until I couldn't escape the hurt and brokenness. It happened. And it sucked. I blamed myself and decided to keep it a secret. Eventually telling my closest friends as years passed by. I thought I had dealt with the issue - but I hadn't. Randomly the moment would replay in my mind and suddenly I would experience the event all over again. 

I was broken. 

Finally, I went to a women's retreat. After hearing from the speaker - I was wrecked. She had been through similar things and her story was powerful. I decided to speak to her about what I had gone through. She said these words:

"You were raped. What happened to you was real. It happened. Your choice was taken in that moment - but you know what wasn't? Your purity." 

Like weight lifted off my shoulders. That wasn't considered my "first time" because it wasn't my choice. 

I felt better that day - but guilt and shame still found a way to creep into my life again. No sooner than I came to terms with being raped, I had also come to terms with my abusive marriage. Only one heartache at a time. So I pushed that event back again - like there is some sort of quota on the amount of grief one person can experience. I decided I would feel better if I just never thought about it. Again, living like it had never happened. 

That brings me to a few months ago. I went out with my friends and a guy felt like he had the right to touch my body - and I was filled with rage. I most definitely followed him, yelling along the way that he can't just touch whomever he wants - and using a few other choice words as he scurried away. This time I didn't keep quiet. Encouraged by friends, I told security. It was my mission to handle it - I  would not keep quiet. 

As I continued to process through that moment - I realized the anger I had felt was because he felt like he had rights to my body - just like that "friend" felt he had several years prior. I faced it - and I was angry; a stage of grief I had previously never allowed myself to feel.

Thoughts of the recent event, coupled with being raped a few years prior had consumed my thoughts. I wanted to scream - or do anything other than be completely silent. 

So that's what brings me here...where I am calm, rational, and can make those thoughts and feelings into some sort of sense.

I am here, writing this,  because if every experience I've gone through were to stay hidden, then they would have been for nothing. But if one person can read these words, realize this wasn't their fault, tell someone, and seek help - then this was worth it. People learn from the experiences of others. They grow. They get better. 

I also realized that I had refused to take this pain to God because I could barely even admit it happened to myself. I prayed. I prayed for healing, strength, comfort, peace - and that God would use my voice and the story I have. I prayed that this would just be another story I have overcome, and that through it all I would continue to have that joy and passion for life He has placed so deeply in my heart. 

I smiled. I felt better. 

I'm not a victim anymore; I'm free. I'm transparent - and finally talking about this feels so incredibly good. As I sit here, crying, and ready to post this huge part of my life for the world to see...I feel strong. 

We heal when we become transparent. We find community and new ways to deal with the devastating reality of the tragedy we have suffered. 

We get better. I feel better. Thank you, Jesus. <3

-jennilea. 

This Is Where My Life Is: A Pictorial

My wonderful - amazing - incredible boyfriend, Brian.  To wake up each morning to a prayer by text is indescribable.  Praying together. Growing in God together.  These are the things in my relationship I value the most. There are times we can't stop talking to one another - and other times we sit in silence and just enjoy the company of one another.  My heart sure does enjoy him. <3

My sweet girl. My princess. I am so blessed beyond measure to be able to continue a relationship with this love. Each moment I get with her is incredible and I cherish far beyond measure. She is so smart and getting so big. I can hardly believe she was just nearly 2 when I met her. She will be 10 this year. Time sure does fly. 

The puppy - Oh man do I love my pup.  Cobie is absolutely incredible.  So smart - and definitely keeps me entertained.  

Then there is my giiiirrrrl.  My PIC.  She has been a constant encouragement in my life and always points me back to God when I need it - Plus we go on a ton of adventures so that's neat.  I love her so much. :]

My Juanita - whom I have grown incredibly close with so fast. She loves monopoly and will wait 2.5 hours with me to get a cup of free coffee from Dutch Brothers.  She loves Jesus, helps me stay sane when I feel like I'm freaking out over dumb things, and is just an overall amazing person.  Through Brian, I've gained another sister - whom I cherish so deeply.









My friends who have become my family. Brian's family is the kind of family I have always prayed for - huge and super close. Along with him, I've gained them.  Bri, Toni, and Sarah have become the girls I spend most of my time with.  They each have their amazing points:

Bri was the first person in Brian's family I really connected with.  She is hilarious - and also helps me feel better when I freak out over dumb things.  lol.  She's incredible, and I can't wait to spoil mini mimi in a few months. 
:]

Toni was the first person I met in Brian's family and it was an instant welcome.  She was kind, excited, and I absolutely love having her has a friend, family member, and cardio buddy.  She da best..

Sarah's bangs are bangin' and her eyebrows are always on point.  She is blunt - to the point - and I love it.  One of the strongest personalities I know, and just a ton of fun. Plus we both love Marilyn.  I love getting to know her - and just being around her.

Nikki has been through it all with me - enough to build an incredibly strong friendship.  I've seen her grow a ton in the last few months - and she's seen the same from me.  She is incredible, strong, and I am so proud of who she has become and all of the wonderful things she is doing.

Christina - I don't get to see her nearly enough, but she is that friend who stays solid throughout time.  I can pick up the phone at any moment, and things continue where they left off.  She keeps my head straight and makes sure I don't jump into things - while also encouraging that I jump into adventure!  It's because of her that I have such a great passion for going anywhere and doing as much as I can in life.  In short, she is awesome. 

My older seesters.  I love them.  Tara is one of the smartest people I know.  She is hilarious - and I want to be like her when I grow up.
Nicoleon sends me bear jokes and makes me laugh.  I admire her strength.  She tight.  
My two older sisters are probably my role models.  I look up to them in pretty much all areas of life.












Panda.  :]  This is one of those long distance friendships that manages to still connect like family.  I love her - and am so proud to see what she is making of her life.  She has truly risen from the lowest points to be successful and an amazing mother to her two little ones.








The rest of my life consists of games, lifting, church, and my wonderful job.  I love where life is right now.  I feel blessed to have such incredible, amazing people around me.  

I get to work full time in a ministry where God uses me each day to be the hands and feet of K-LOVE and Air1 - in a way I am so passionate about!

I am surrounded by amazing women (and men) who train incredibly hard at The Dungeon and see such extreme results!  I am inspired by Katie Felix who has made the most incredible changes in her body.  I am encouraged by Jamie, who pushes me to the vary breaking point during all of my workouts.

1 year ago - I didn't realize life could ever be this cool.

Transparency: This will explain a lot

One day, I know I will wake up and feel normal, but until then, I will keep pressing on, living life, feeling, trusting God, and having as much adventure as possible.

A few weeks ago - my entire world crashed down when I found out my husband of 6 years had been less than faithful.  Here is my story:

In 2008, I got married way too fast and way too young - but was determined to make everything work. I am extremely stubborn and work ridiculously hard to keep what I want.

Very early on in our marriage, we encountered issues with substance abuse.  Growing up, I was never exposed to alcohol - so it took a bit of time before I realized - "Woah - you drink a lot!"  The realization didn't actually hit me though until he did.  Yep - along with the alcoholism came physical abuse...a lot of it. Being married, I believed that I owed it to him to stick it out and work through it, as long as he was willing to get better.  We struggled on and off again with him quitting for a few weeks, then starting up again, quitting, then starting again. I had marks I came up with excuses for, a giant knife pulled on me...There were so many times I didn't know that I would make it through the night.

The patterns of abuse and addiction because so incredibly overwhelming until the final straw was pulled:  He got home drunk and with a random stranger around 2am.  He had been missing all night, and I was worried sick.  When I realized he had been drinking, I made the decision to leave.  He tackled me to the ground - and to my surprise, the random stranger guy did absolutely nothing.  In fact, he said to me "It's okay, you guys love each other - it will get better."  In that moment, I was overwhelmed with anger.  It wasn't okay.  It wasn't getting better.  For the first time, I fought back just enough to get him off of me - run to my car, and book it out.

It was at this point I realized I needed to stop separating who my husband was.  I knew he was an awesome guy when he was sober - but when he drank he was my worst nightmare.  At the end of the day - this was still the same person doing the damage.  If the sober version cared, he would have done all he could to not be the drunk version.  Why try to control an addiction if it risks physically hurting your wife each time?

Finally, I gave him a choice:  Enter a live in program or we can be done.  He chose to enter a one year live in program.  After failing at the one year mark, and finding out he had been drinking during pretty much the entire program, I told the program leads because there is no way he would leave with the same problem.  His program was extended another 6 months.  He failed again, but that his point, we were nervous as to what his outcome would be as far as custody went for his daughter, so I didn't say anything this time in exchange for a promise to seek outside help.  That never happened.

We continued to struggle - where there would be months at a time where I thought he would be sober - come to find out otherwise.  It all came down to one night I had gone out of town for a fitness conference, came home, and he was nowhere to be found.

After doing some digging, I found out he had gone to a party the night before and had been drinking - after believing he had been sober for about 6 months (which he had not been).  Not only that, there was a possibility he had been involved with another girl.  This would not be the first time in our marriage that he had done something like this - though I didn't know until later.  I asked him over and over if he had been drinking that night - even pointing out that I already knew, but needed to hear it from.  He insisted he was fishing the night before...then finally told the truth that he'd been drinking.  There are only so many times I can say "if you don't stop drinking, I am leaving."  I decided to leave.

He immediately became involved with the girl from the party.  No time wasted at all.  I confronted her - and just really tore her apart with my words.  Pretty sure I scared her off.  Go me!  During that time, his drinking had also become so heavy that he lost another job.

He ended up moving to Fresno to work at a Christian camp, where I believed his life was really changing.  We decided to work on things - but before we did that, I needed him to tell me the complete truth about everything.  Sparing no feelings, I needed to know it all.  It was at this point that he told me he had kissed another girl shortly after we got married, things happened with the girl at the party (but not sex), and that he had never stopped drinking at all until he got to Fresno.  I really urged him to tell all because at this point, I was feeling everything - so nothing more would make it worse.

The next 7 months were pretty good, until he started getting pretty mean, verbally.  Then, I felt the urge to seek out the truth about the girl at the party from someone else, because I felt like there was so much more to the story that what he said.  It was confirmed to me that he did have sex with her at that party - while he and I were still very much together.  Needless to say, I was completely crushed.  I gave him an opportunity to tell me the truth - pointing out that I also already knew the truth, but needed to hear it from him.  He lied about it for about a week, then finally came forward with the truth.

At this point, I had endured so much pain and hurt in this relationship, I knew I couldn't take on more.  Especially given the fact that I had to argue with him for an apology of any kind.  It felt done.

Very quickly, he moved on...like within a few days, hooking up with a close family friend, and then pursuing someone else.

For the past 7 years, he has been my life.  I've tried all I can do and fought harder for my marriage than I really should have.  At some point, it's time to quite fighting.  I am not going to lie - this hurts and it sucks.  It's the most painful experience I've ever had to endure - especially because after all of this time, being there and fighting - to be cheated on simply because he wanted to "feel chased."  I feel like all the fighting I did for our marriage was chasing enough for a lifetime.

All of this brings me to having issues with my worth - but I have come to realize that my worth has to come from God first.  We can't find our worth in people, because people suck and are far from perfect.  To God, I am worth so much more - I deserve more.  Furthermore, him quickly moving on isn't about me or my worth either - it's a rebound to fill the void he now has.  It's temporary.  

What he did wasn't about me not being good enough; it's about whatever issues he has within himself.  Hurting people hurt people, and until he can find healing within himself, he will always hurt people.  I take comfort in knowing that it will not be me next time.

For now, my life consists of making it - day to day.  Fighting with myself to get up, move, go to school, maintain life - and just get better.

What might I need or expect from you?  Prayer...I need prayer constantly for my heart to heal and feel whole.  If I need you, be there.  Play games with me - I love game night.  Take me on an adventure - or to experience anything new.  Please feel free to ask me how I am doing.  If I don't want to talk about it, respect that.  Don't tell me I will be okay.  I know I will be okay, but right now, it hurts - and that is pretty normal.

One day, I know I will wake up and feel normal again.  I will be happy.  All of this will be behind me.  Far down the road, I will find someone who will "move mountains and destroy kingdoms" for me.   Someone who loves God and loves me - real love.

Thanks for taking the time to read this - and thank you for all of your love and support.  It is very much needed.

-jennilea

Forks, Washington

11:00pm, we finally drive into Forks, Washington.  The town was very small, as expected.  We arrive at a hotel, which we are hoping is cheap enough for us to stay in.  Katie ran in to check on pricing, and runs out, exclaiming "Guys!  We are staying here!"  Nic and I assumed that would mean that the hotel was cheap enough, but Katie continued to say, "The only rooms they have left, are TWILIGHT THEMED!"  

Yep, we were definitely staying there. 

At this point, Nic turns to me and says, "Are you kidding me?  Is this a Twilight trip?!"  I laughed pretty hard.

We go to check in, and the say to us, "Team Jacob or Team Edward."  Typically, I am not on any team, I know what happens in the books; I enjoy looking at Jacob more than I do Edward, so we picked the Jacob room. 

We walked into our room, only to find completely red walls, paired with black and red bedding.  We were greeted by a large photo of Jacob and a "New Moon" movie poster.  The towels all said "Twilight" and the pillows had pictures of the characters.  This room was just silly - but awesome.  We turned in, and were up for the next morning!

First on our list, was to check into the only place we actually planned to stay:  The Cullen House!

We arrived at the Cullen House, and it was gorgeous!  The guy who greeted us was really nice.  He quoted us $125 and said we could pick out whatever room we wanted.  We got a little tour of the place, including a wall of graduation caps, and Carlisle's office.  We ended up picking a room with a huge bed, living room with a pullout couch, kitchen, dining room table, it's own entrance, and a Jacuzzi spa bathtub!  This room was all my dreams!  The rooms had all of the Twilight Movies and books, as well as a few spoofs on the film.  We explored a little, and ended up receiving a letter from the Cullen's explaining that they were sorry they could not be there while we were visiting.  The innkeeper told us two versions of how the Bed and Breakfast began:  one twilight version, and then the actual story.

The Bed and Breakfast was actually running much earlier than when the book came out, but this house was the closest thing in the town, as described in the book. The innkeepers were lovely, and I would most definitely stay here again.  They were very helpful and gave us a lot of information about the town.  They also provided us with directions to La Push, which was our next stop.

We went to the Quileute reservation so we could visit La Push beach.  Right as you enter the reservation, there is a sign saying "Treaty Line:  No Vampires Allowed."  We continued on, and saw Jacob's house - which was very close to the one in the movie.

Finally, we arrived at the beach.  It was gorgeous. The water was freezing, and it was cloudy, but I loved being there.  There was a little island further out, that was supposed to be where the cliff diving happens in the movie.  Come to find out, the water is actually much to shallow to do so.

There was a long pile of logs and rocks which let to a makeshift light house.  We decided to tackle it, and make it to the end.

The beach was nice and peaceful, but it was time to move on to Port Angeles.

We drove to Port Angeles and had dinner at Bella Italia, as seen in Twilight.  We sat in the booth that Bella and Edward would have sat in, had the film actually been made there. Katie and I ordered the mushroom ravioli, just as Bella did, and it was delicious!

Finally, the day was to be ended with knocking another item off my list:  Sending a message in a bottle.

I purchased a Starbucks drink, cleaned out the glass bottle, and stuck my letter in it.  In my letter, I discussed knowing your worth, and encouraged whomever the letter might find (if it ever does).  I was not sure if I should write my name on the letter because I am pretty sure this is considered littering, but Katie reminding me that it was probably not going to make it to anyone, so I decided to write my name.  As soon as I threw the bottle, it began floating towards the shore...oops!

It was a fun moment.

When we woke the next morning, the innkeepers had made us a delicious breakfast of Eggs Benedict, along with fruit, pastries, juice, and tea.  It was amazing.

The last thing we did on this trip, that I was able to scratch off my list, was burning memories.  I wrote all of my bad memories on a piece of paper, and then burned the paper.  It was a pretty freeing moment; there were a lot of bad memories.

I have now completed 72 of 101 goals.  In my next blog, I will discuss my most recent accomplishment.  I am very excited, and hope you are too. :]

-jennilea

One week from today...

One week from today, I will be able to cross another thing off my list:  Get my AA.  I will be graduating from American River College with 2 AAs, and rightfully so.  I have been there far too long!

Commercial Music Business and Liberal Arts.  Music Business was what I was going for, but I ended up picking up Liberal Arts on accident.

On May 22nd, at 7:00pm, I will be walking across that stage, at American River College, to receive my degrees.  You are all invited.  I would like to hear my fan club cheer for me as I walk.  :]

I will be starting at Sac State in the fall, and am definitely nervous, but can't wait to begin this new and exciting chapter of my life.

Another goal I have been working on is with my guitar!  I am still working on that thing!  I recently purchased  Left-handed chord book from Lefty's in San Francisco, and that thing is amazing!  It is so much easier to read the chord charts.  Also, with classes wrapping up, I have found some time to spend with my mommy, who is teaching me Mirrors, by Justin Timberlake.

It amazes me how much talent my mom has.  She is brilliant!  I have really enjoyed spending the time with her.

Also, with the tough time I mentioned a few blogs back, playing the guitar has been one of the things that has helped me clam down and clear my head.  I feel so awesome.

I hope to be a better guitar player by the end of summer.

Speaking of summer, I have a trip coming up!  I am taking the week after graduation off of work and hope to knock a few things off of my list.  I am so excited to explore around Washington and possibly visit Canada!  By June, I should have 4 or 5 things to cross off of my Day Zero Project!

Finally, of course I have to talk about the Dungeon!  Alicia is my other half in the Dungeon!  I workout with so many amazing people in there, but she and I tend to workout together the best.  We both challenge each other, which is pretty neat.  We decided to take photos of our "guns" with our trainer, Jamie.  I am really proud of us and our progress!

I also have to mention Vanessa - she is so full of life and energy.  Her smile could light up a room.  She is always full of encouraging words and is another girl I truly enjoy working out with.

I also wanted to discuss my experience with the rope!  I added a goal to my list to be able to climb the rope, and I am getting closer each and every week!  This time I felt much stronger and was able to pull myself even higher than normal.  I actually attempted to climb the rope without any assistance, and failed, but hey, I am still working on it!  What really impressed me was the fact that I was able to hold my whole body up, even though I cannot quite climb it yet.  The photo on the bottom right in the collage is me working on the rope.  I cannot wait to get to goal on this one!

Through all of the tough things, life is turning out to be pretty awesome right now.

-jennilea

Experience. Live. Fearless.

I knocked another thing off my list!  On Sunday, I rode my bike to Jessica's house, where we rode a few miles along the bike trails near her house.  In total, I rode 8.6 miles!  I always figured that riding a bike would  be much easier than running, but I was wrong.  You are definitely working out a different set up muscles when riding a bike.  I can feel it today...and it hurts so good!

60 goals complete.

41 to go.

Feel free to check out my Day Zero Project to keep up on what I will be up to this year.

On a more serious note:  Last night, the world truly lost an amazing girl:  Morgan Helman.  I did not know her well, but I volunteered with her a lot for various Celebration Concerts Events.  She was always such a light.  Her smile, the brightness in her eyes...she brought joy wherever she went.  My heart goes out to her family as well as her close friends.  I ask that you keep them in prayer as they go through this tragedy.  In addition, I ask that you pray for the driver of the vehicle.  He will be facing a lot in the coming years.

While we experience the sadness of Morgan leaving this earth, we celebrate her life and her eternal happiness and rest with our Father, which is the absolute comfort in all of this.
There will be a concert, celebrating her life, in just a few weeks.  I will keep you updated and hope to see you all there.  I will keep you posted as to date, location, and time.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support.

Life is too short to not be fearless.
Experience.
Live.

In other news: "Every sweater worn by Mr. Rogers in his show “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” was hand-knitted by is mother."
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-jennilea