I couldn't have been more wrong.
My testimony is just that: It's the fact that I've grown up knowing and loving the Lord, which set my life on a completely different track from where it could have gone.
After knowing me, several people have said that they were surprised that I'd gone through so much, because my face tends to show nothing but joy. That joy is 100% from God, and it was placed in my heart after facing a tragedy when I was 14. My parents split up. My dad had met someone else with kids, and they had become his family - leaving us behind. At the time, this was the worst thing I had experienced in my young 14 years, and I was completely crushed. Growing up, I was a daddy's girl through and through and all of that was gone. I felt more alone than ever before and I was so angry at him, and at God for allowing this to happen.
One afternoon, while completely alone in our new apartment, I finally hit a breaking point and just cried my eyes out before actually yelling at God. Doubting Him, I said, "Why did you let this happen? I am alone and for the first time I don't feel you here either. I need to feel that you're here now more than ever!" I cried even harder and fell to my knees, begging God to show me He was real in that moment.
What happened next was what set my heart on complete fire for God, and has literally carried me through every bad day and every heartbreaking experienced I've faced.
On my knees in the living room floor, crying enough tears to fill an ocean, I felt arms wrap around me and I was being held. I was filled with this overwhelming sense of joy and love, and my tears began to take on a new meaning. I knew in that moment that God was real, and I was so incredibly loved by Him. No matter what I would face, He would be there holding me up. God the Father, showed up in true form for me right when I needed Him to.
I have carried what I learned that day through everything I've faced in life.
Raped and left feeling empty, I was filled with God's love, peace, and was wholly restored.
Knife to my side and hand to my throat, I closed my eyes trusting that God would tell me when to move, and He did.
Divorced with a feeling of being unworthy and unloved, He showed me I was valuable and brought healing, forgiveness, and restoration.
The only constant and consistent thing in my life has been the love of God. I am grateful for that one moment, which has become my testimony, because it gave me the strength to forgive, to move forward, and to have so much joy through every inch of pain.
-jennilea
