The Proposal

The moment many of you have asked me about:

A little backstory - I was at work one day when two of my coworkers asked when Brian and I were going to get married, I made the same joke I usually do: "Uhhh...3 years so I can grow out my wedding hair."  Haha.  This conversation turned into something so much deeper.  I leaned a lot about myself in that moment - including that I was sort of sabotaging myself - not allowing myself to fully love and be loved.  I was waiting for something terrible to happen, because terrible is what I've been used to for so long.  The thing is, no one is perfect, I'm sure he will make mistakes somewhere along the line - but over the last year, this has been the most healthy and perfect relationship I've ever experienced.  It's been such a fairytale and I feel so blessed to be walking this life out with my best friend. At the end of this conversation with my coworkers, I felt peace and all of those fears vanished.  I went to prayer - and just continued to find peace in the idea of marriage - so I shared the realization and experience with Brian.

Fast forward 1.5 months:

I was asked by Meloney (Brian's sister) if I can help out with a photo shoot.  I've done it before, so I didn't question anything and was excited to help take photos of a military couple, as the husband was going to be deployed soon.  That was the story I was made to believe. :]

As we drove to Rocklin, I quickly realized the park we were going to for the photo shoot was one that was all too familiar...in fact, it was me and Brian's park.  This park was one where the two of us would talk for hours, stargaze, and where we would both begin the process of healing from some of our most painful hurts.  This park was where everything began.

I turned to Meloney and told her about how special this park was to us.  Her reply was simply, "Good thing you know this park, because I don't!"

We pulled in and parked.  Meloney took her camera out to test lighting and began doing a few test shots.  Then, as we stood and waited for the couple to arrive, she said, "I know we've been talking about weddings a lot lately, and I'm getting ahead of myself, but I made you something.  Don't judge me."  Haha!  She handed me her phone, and started playing a slideshow of some of my favorite photos, set to our song.  I was so excited to relive so many incredible moments in such a special place.  At the very end, the video said. "But wait...there's more."  Another video started of my wonderful boy, pouring his heart out as he said some of the most beautiful things, ending the video saying, "I have a question for you so why don't you turn around."

I turned around to find my handsome boy down on his knee...after this, I have no idea what I said to him.  Haha.  It was a lot of high pitched nonsense I'm sure with a tiny "yes" thrown in between.  Of course, the photo shoot was not of a military couple...it was of this moment...and now we have photos to cherish and remember that moment by forever.

I am blessed.  My ring is perfect.  Life is happy.  We can't wait to take on this world together and see how God uses us as one.  <3

-jennilea

Italia!

When I began my Day Zero Project, I added a goal to write myself a letter, opening it on the last day of my "project."  Upon opening it, I had told future me to go to Italy, which was perfect, because I was already planning on it!

On November 12th my journey finally began as my ragazza (giiiiiirl) and I flew to Rome!  

After 15 hours of travel time, I turned my phone on only to receive message after message from family and friends asking if I was safe and okay. Confused by the messages, I told them I was fine, and inquired further only to be told there was a terrorist attack in Paris.  As more detail began to flood in, my heart became so sad - and at the same time angry.  It's so hard to know how to feel or respond during such in incredibly tragic time.  There was nothing I could do at all to help/fix the situation except pray - so that is exactly what I did. I prayed for peace, comfort, protection, and for God to take control of the situation and of our terribly broken hearts. 

Shortly after this moment, I had received a message from the US Embassy (I suggest you register your trip with them before leaving the country) warning US Citizens in Europe to be extra vigilant.  Even with the fear I was now feeling, I decided that terror can't take the joy of this trip from me - so we went to sleep (as we landed pretty late) and decided to be fearless as we continued on our great adventure. 

When we woke, we went to our hotel breakfast and had the most amazing croissant of our lives as well as our first cappuccino.  It was delicious and definitely met my expectations for our first food experience.  Unfortunately - we quickly realized that in pretty much all of Italy, breakfast is a croissant and coffee...so we were basically starving every morning.  Haha.  

Next we began our trip to Minori, where we would be staying for the next few nights. We used Airbnb for this trip and it could not have been more perfect!  When we arrived at our hotel, we were in awe! It was just steps away from the water and so close to everything - and just a short bus trip away from Amalfi.  Minori was a small town where everyone seemed to know each other.  We saw the most amazing sunsets and sunrises here - and it came to life at night!  Also, it was super safe.  "No criminality," as we were told.  

We had our first pizza, and while the pizza here - and everywhere else we had pizza - was good, it has absolutely nothing on pizza in New York!  

While in Minori, we made a trip to Amalfi.  It was stunning! Just as beautiful as the photos have shown and even more so.  The buildings were colorful and the city was so full of life!  Of all the places we went in Italy, this was my favorite.  I would come back just to experience more of this area.

From Amalfi, we got lost on our way to Positano and ended up in Sorrento with just enough time to catch our last bus back to Minori - thank you, Lord! 

Our next stop was to Florence!  our Airbnb here was an apartment in the center of everything!  We were about a 10 minute walk away from everything, which was fantastic because we ended up only spending one night here - but we were still able to see so much.  The highlight of which being the Santa Maria del Fiore Cathedral.  I have no photos of this place that do it any sort of justice.  Yessica and I literally turned a corner and there is was!  Just gorgeous!  The inside was even more beautiful.  It amazes me how much went into these buildings...every little detail - and there is so much history!   

It was also in Florence where we saw the first bit of support for Paris on the replica of David statue. The bottom was draped with the French flag, and they had placed a black band around his arm.  Others who were there seemed just as fascinated as I was by the gesture.  

Much to our surprise, this would not be the last time we saw such incredible support for Paris.

On our last day in Florence, we were able to do a ton with our few hours, including seeing the actual statue of David and climbing 463 steps to the top of the Duomo on top of the cathedral I mentioned above.  This was a tiring experience, but so incredibly worth it!

When we got to the top, we were able to see everything which was a really fantastic way to say 'goodbye' to Florence as we began our journey to Venice!

When we arrived in Venice, we could instantly tell it would be way different in comparison to the other cities we were in - and it was lovely.

We checked into our Airbnb and it was so cute!  We also really connected with our hosts here.  They gave us a ton of information which really helped us out in planning how we would spend our few days in Venice.

One of the awesome things we did in Venice was take an excursion to 3 islands: Murano, Torcello, and Burano.

Our first stop was to Murano, which is known for it's glass blowing.  We were able to sit in on a glass blowing demonstration, where a guy made a vase and a horse...RIGHT in front of us.  It was pretty amazing.  

Next, we went to Torcello which has some incredibly fascinating history behind it.  This was one of the first lagoon islands populated by those who were taking shelter from the Huns in 452...The year 452 - So much history on this tiny island!  It was at one time a powerful trading center - but eventually became more of a swamp, and malaria-carrying mosquitoes forced many to abandon the island. Today, there is a total of 11 people who reside on the island full-time.  This number was incredibly surprising because there were a good number of restaurants on the island.  Apparently enough tourists come to the island to keep them open.  Most of what I saw though was old buildings, a church, and some cute bridges.

We then made our way to Burano, which is known for it's colorful fishermen's homes and for making lace.  We were able to see an elderly lady stitching some lace which was just incredible to see!  Burano reminded me a bit of Venice, but on a much smaller scale.  It was just a cute little town.

After exploring the 3 islands, we headed back to Venice to get dinner.  Being right on the water, we thought it would be neat to try out some seafood.  We ended up finding the cute restaurant right near the Rialto Bridge, where I ended up having seafood lasagna which was soooooo good - along with a glass of house Prosecco, also super yummy.  

After our fantastic/fancy dinner, we began the hunt to get back to the bus station to go home for the evening.  Along the way, we noticed buildings in Venice decorated with the colors of the French flag.  Again, another incredible example of the support Italy has for France.  It was beautiful.

When we arrived at our hotel, we went to bed, as we would be traveling to Milan early the next morning.  Upon waking up though, we received a message from the US Embassy, warning us that there had been terrorist threats for both Milan and Rome (our last 2 destinations) at locations we were planning to visit on our trip.  I was definitely nervous to continue on our journey.  Prayer with Brian, my mom, and sister Tara - along with some encouraging words from a bunch of other friends and family - gave me a bit of comfort and I decided to be fearless and continue on with our plans.  On to Milan!

After checking into our awesome, Coca Cola themed Airbnb in Milan, we basically ate and went to sleep.  It was a long travel day, and I was feeling sick, which was a bummer because our fantastic host gave us a list of awesome things we could do (which we did eventually get to).  Along with the list of things to do in Milan, we asked for advice on Switzerland, as we had planned to stop there as well for a mini day trip.

We ended up going to Lugano, Switzerland.  Lugano is absolutely beautiful!  No photo that I took captured it's beauty well enough - but this photo is a start.

After arriving in Lugano, the first thing we did (after exchanging our money) was eat chocolate...and we did not at all regret eating it.  Oh man...best chocolate of my entire life!  We ended up buying a ton to bring home.

While in Switzerland, we quickly realized rich people live here.  Haha.  There were expensive cars everywhere and everything was expensive.  We tried to search for somewhere to eat, but didn't want to pay the restaurant prices, so we ended up going to McDonald's - which actually had a different menu - and their McCafé was a separate place in the same building.  It was fancy and had all kinds of treats.  Anyway - even my McDonald's meal ended up being around $15!  So crazy!  The burger was pretty fantastic though.

Later, our host in Milan ended up confirming that our suspicions were correct about rich people in Switzerland.  Haha.  He said a lot of Italians will move there because it is safe and clean.  It definitely felt very safe and was super clean.

After our quick trip to Lugano, we made our way back to Milan.  Our goal for the evening was to experience a little night life - Starting with an aperitivo!  An aperitivo is basically happy hour done right!  You buy a $10 drink and have access to an unlimited buffet!  It originally started as finger foods to have before dinner - but has evolved to basically dinner.  There was so much food and it was all delicious!  Thank you, Italy!

As we were walking to the bar for our aperitivo, we had a chance to see a "Je Suis Paris" sign, which light up the entire square in Milan.

Again, this was a really incredible way to show support for France - and I absolutely loved seeing it!

On our last morning in Milan, our host took us out for coffee and to just get to know us a bit.  It was super nice to be able to connect with him as he shared with us about his family and more about the wonderful city of Milan.

After this, we were able to explore a little more before having to grab our bags from our Airbnb.  Our first stop was Castello Sforzeco!  It was beautiful, but my fear certainly got the best of me for the first time here.  As we walked up, this was the first place we saw military and police - everywhere!  Italy was taking those terrorist threats seriously!  It was comforting to have them there - but also a constant reminder that there was a reason they were needed. We quickly looked through the the castle before leaving to see the Milan Cathedral.

As we stepped up to the Milan Cathedral - we quickly noticed there was an even larger presence of military and police.  I counted over 20 police and military vehicles and 4 ambulances.  Before we were allowed into the Cathedral, we were also wanted for weapons and had our bags and coats thoroughly checked.  I felt extra safe when we were inside of the cathedral.

The inside was just as gorgeous at the outside.  I've never seen a building like this.  It was just magnificent.

After we explored the Cathedral, we went back to the hotel for our bags and headed for Rome - our final stop on the trip!  Fun fact, where we were in Rome - there were over 1000 military dispatched throughout the city to guard and protect the city.  Super impressed by Rome and how seriously and quickly they acted given the threats they had faced.

Our first stop in Rome - the Colosseum!  It was kind of surreal walking through here. There is just so much history!  We stopped to read a ton of things and found out graffiti is not a new thing.  Spectators used to literally carve the fights into the walls as they were happening which was really cool to see.  Thinking about how many people must have walked through this blew my mind.  Definitely one of my favorite stops in the entire trip.  I learned so much here!

Our next stop was The Vatican!  St. Peter's Basilica was unreal.  We were also able to climb the duomo, allowing us to see the city!  I don't have words to describe it, so I'm going to use photos:

Next stop: The Trevi Fountain!  Again - I have no words to explain this experience.  It was everything I've ever wanted to see and photos do this thing no justice.  The Trevi had actually just reopened after it had been closed for quite a while - We were definitely blessed to have arrived at a time we were able to see it.

One of our last stops in Rome was to see the Roman Forum which is basically a bunch of ancient ruins of government buildings.  At one point, this was the center of public life in Rome. Again, this was such an incredible opportunity to see and walk among the streets where so many have walked before.  It was also super overcast that day, so the photos turned out extra neat:






Rome was an incredible adventure - and I am still amazed that it's all over.

This was by far one of my greatest adventures!

-jennilea

You're mean - But I forgive you.

You're mean - But I forgive you. 

You create these stories to tell people in your own world, hoping they will make it back to mine - which of course they do and of course they hurt because I don't understand for the life of me why you won't stop - But I forgive you. 

You post statuses and photos insisting that you don't care - but they scream that you are hurting inside and rather than embracing the hurt to feel and truly process through what it is you're experiencing, you try to hurt others - But I forgive you. 

You send your friends to cyber bully me at any opportunity - spewing hateful words and accusations as if I'm supposed to suddenly come out and admit that the lies you've created are reality - But I forgive you. 

You tell lies and try to pit family members and friends against each other, grasping at straws in an attempt to take anyone down with you - But I forgive you. 

I'm not part of what happened to you. No matter how hard you try to paint this picture as if your situation was something far greater than what it actually was - blaming me or anyone else who you feel you can hurt - But I forgive you. 

I forgive you. I forgive you. 

The words are hard to say. They are even harder to make myself believe. 

The truth is that there is something deeper to the game you're playing; you're hurting and it is completely okay to hurt. 

Furthermore, it's okay to admit that you're hurting because honestly, you're better than this. 

You are better than any lie you have crafted. 

You are better than the hurt you won't let yourself heal from. 

You are better than any of this. 

You deserve much more than you think. Give yourself a chance to have that rather than swimming in your own pool of bitterness and stories.

In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. "...Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Furthermore, God calls us to love and forgive, even when it is so incredibly hard to do so. 

Let me tell you now that while I do absolutely hate what you've done and all of the things you've said, I do love you. While each and every post that finds it's way back to me does bother me for mere minutes - I do forgive you for them. 

I forgive you for them because I know you're hurting and hope that one day you'll forgive yourself too so you can be completely healed and whole from all you've experienced. 

Yes - you are mean (right now) - But I forgive you. 

-jennilea

My Incredible Summer!

It's been quite a few months since I have been able to write anything.  My summer was incredibly busy - but so awesome!  Here is a update on my life.  :]

My Loves:
-Jadelynn turned 10 this year!  I seriously cannot believe how much she has grown since I first met her at 2 years old.  As most of you know, after my divorce, I am so blessed by her mom that she has allowed me to continue to love on Jadelynn and be such a huge part of her life.  This year she started gymnastics - and is doing a fabulous job!  She is doing great in school, and is just a sweet little lady whom we are all incredibly proud of. We had adventures this summer too:  One Direction!  Of course I had to take her to see them again.  :]
-Cobie is still just as awesome as ever.  He is 1.5 years old now and has started to calm down a little bit - which is actually pretty nice.  Haha.
-My boy.  We had all of the adventures!  He surprised me with fancy dinners, trips to the ocean, birds, the Seymour Marine Discovery Center, dolphins, whales - and overall has been the sweetest and most incredible man I have ever met.  I thank God every single day for the blessing I have received through our relationship.  Thank you for who you are, for praying with me, praying for me, leading us, providing way more than you need to, for making me laugh, for respecting me and being patient, and for the love and adventure of a lifetime.  9 months down into forever. <3
-The Dungeon:  Still working it out with team Dungeon!  It was hard to mix my gym life with my summer work life, but eventually I was able to figure it out and go in as often as I could - even using online sessions and hotel gyms when I was working out of town.  At this point - I have finally dipped below the weight I have been at for months! I know the numbers on the scale don't matter...but we all know it's nice to see them drop.

Family and Friends:

-My older sister moved back!  I don't have any photos with her - which I lame and I will have to fix when I see her later. :]  I have been able to spend a ton of time with her and her kids - getting to know her even better.  I love her so much! I went to Disneyland with my oldest sister, which was way fun too!

-I also went to Disneyland with my giiiiiiirrl - and watched my other "giiirrl" Zach graduate from the Sheriff Academy!

-My friend Nikki wrote her second book - which I was so blessed to be part of!

-Christina introduced me to ArtMix and got to by my hero at work.. :]
-The birth of Mini Mimi, dancing (killing it at the wobble), camping, wedding planning, pumpkin patches, and adventure happened with my new family and some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for.

Adventures with K-LOVE and Air1:  

My job probably kept me the most busy this summer.  Going into promotions, I was prepared to have weird hours, minimal weekends off, and the time of my life - and that is exactly what I got!  My summer was full of prep for event, going to some of the most amazing worship nights and concerts, community events, wonderful volunteers, listener stories, and travel!  One of my favorite things was being able to travel to Colorado for our team Summit and to serve with my amazing coworkers from Denver, Arizona, and So Cal, Texas, and Kansas at HeavenFest (2 days) and Harvest SoCal (3 nights) - which are weekend festivals full of music and fun.  Here I had the opportunity to set up our HUGE K-LOVE and Air1 tents and experience for the first time what it's like working a festival with K-LOVE and Air1.  It was busy and so exhausting, but every now and again, we would hear these amazing stories from our listeners, which quickly lifted my spirits as I remembered why I am part of this ministry.  I've said it a thousand times: I love my job!

Next up - I'm going to Italy!  Jessica and I will be on a 2-week adventure in less than 1 month!

Life is beautiful.

In other news:  The first motion picture theater opened in Los Angeles on April 2, 1902.
Find out more cool California facts here!

-jennilea

Results Are My Addiction

My friend sent me a photo of me he had found - and I hated it. I looked in the mirror and cried at what I saw.

I hated my body and the fact that I had come so far - and then let it all go again. I felt defeated and as if my body was just not meant for change. I thought to myself, "This is who I am forever...."

I was wrong.

The problem wasn't in my body, or the fact that it would never change; the problem was in my mind. Your thoughts are convincing. Of course, right? They come from us, so why wouldn't we believe them. The problem is that those thoughts were the easy way out from making a life changing decision.  Thank God I had made progress before - because I could have easily believed the lie that my body was just this way forever. I wasn't meant to be fit.

After being sad, I went through some other photos until I finally stumbled upon my progress photos from when I first started with Jamie at The Dungeon. Within the first 8 weeks I had lost 32 inches! If I could do it then, what exactly would be stopping me now? So, I made a choice to change my mindset. I told myself I could do this - and that I would see results and they would become an addiction.

4 weeks later, I'm seeing results and, sure enough, I'm addicted.

I'm not just addicted to the fact that I'm seeing inches and points leave - I'm also obsessed with the PRs I am setting each week! When I first started at The Dungeon, I was doing all of these crazy workouts, thinking to myself that I would never be able to complete the sets Jamie had planned for me. Sure enough, those sets would turn into my warm-ups. I started adding weights and numbers to my sets, pushing myself even harder and further each week.

Not only am I doing better in the gym, but also in the kitchen. Jamie gives us these individualized meal plans and they really go hand in hand with our training - both with the same objective, which is to meet our personal goals. A huge part of building the body you want is to stop filling it with garbage, and start feeding it the fuel it needs to continuously see change!

In the 4 weeks that I've been eating right and making every single workout, I have noticed I feel better, look better, and am even starting to enjoy taking photos again.

This is just the beginning. I can't wait to see where another 4 weeks will take me.

If you're wanting to make a change in your life, please check out The Dungeon if your are interested in making a change to your physique. Whether your focus is to stack on muscle, compete, get rid of fat, tone up, be healthy, or wherever else you might want - Jamie can help you get there through amazingly priced personal training as well as a personalized meal plan.

Don't be afraid to make that change you've always been wanting. You can do it.

-jennilea

"When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending."

I was raped. 

There. I said it. But it doesn't feel good to say - not that it should "feel good" to say. It certainly isn't easy to say either. I say it quietly and with hesitation - almost as if I should be ashamed that it happened, but why? Why do I feel ashamed of something I had no control over; why am I ashamed that my "no" wasn't good enough? 

What if I had fought harder?

What if I had screamed? 

What if I haven't allowed myself to be isolated with this person?

What about my conversation could have been changed so he wouldn't see me as his next victim?

Victim. I hate that word and refused to be labeled as such. In this moment - I take back my life. In this moment I am overcoming my best kept secret from a night of regrets and "what ifs" because the thing is that this person made a decision to take my choice from me. This person took away my right to  "no!" 

As the night replays like a nightmare in my dreams I am haunted by that simple question of why...

18 years old and attending a friend's birthday party - I had decided to sleep over. It seemed safe - everyone was sleeping over. What I didn't expect was to be woken up by someone I had known so well, drunk, and forceful. 

No! 

No! 

Stop!  No! 

At this point I am crying. I'm fighting. He was stronger. 

Just like that - Something I had decided to save until marriage was stolen. I was broken. What's worse - he denied it happened. 

For whatever reason, I told myself it didn't happen too - until I couldn't escape the hurt and brokenness. It happened. And it sucked. I blamed myself and decided to keep it a secret. Eventually telling my closest friends as years passed by. I thought I had dealt with the issue - but I hadn't. Randomly the moment would replay in my mind and suddenly I would experience the event all over again. 

I was broken. 

Finally, I went to a women's retreat. After hearing from the speaker - I was wrecked. She had been through similar things and her story was powerful. I decided to speak to her about what I had gone through. She said these words:

"You were raped. What happened to you was real. It happened. Your choice was taken in that moment - but you know what wasn't? Your purity." 

Like weight lifted off my shoulders. That wasn't considered my "first time" because it wasn't my choice. 

I felt better that day - but guilt and shame still found a way to creep into my life again. No sooner than I came to terms with being raped, I had also come to terms with my abusive marriage. Only one heartache at a time. So I pushed that event back again - like there is some sort of quota on the amount of grief one person can experience. I decided I would feel better if I just never thought about it. Again, living like it had never happened. 

That brings me to a few months ago. I went out with my friends and a guy felt like he had the right to touch my body - and I was filled with rage. I most definitely followed him, yelling along the way that he can't just touch whomever he wants - and using a few other choice words as he scurried away. This time I didn't keep quiet. Encouraged by friends, I told security. It was my mission to handle it - I  would not keep quiet. 

As I continued to process through that moment - I realized the anger I had felt was because he felt like he had rights to my body - just like that "friend" felt he had several years prior. I faced it - and I was angry; a stage of grief I had previously never allowed myself to feel.

Thoughts of the recent event, coupled with being raped a few years prior had consumed my thoughts. I wanted to scream - or do anything other than be completely silent. 

So that's what brings me here...where I am calm, rational, and can make those thoughts and feelings into some sort of sense.

I am here, writing this,  because if every experience I've gone through were to stay hidden, then they would have been for nothing. But if one person can read these words, realize this wasn't their fault, tell someone, and seek help - then this was worth it. People learn from the experiences of others. They grow. They get better. 

I also realized that I had refused to take this pain to God because I could barely even admit it happened to myself. I prayed. I prayed for healing, strength, comfort, peace - and that God would use my voice and the story I have. I prayed that this would just be another story I have overcome, and that through it all I would continue to have that joy and passion for life He has placed so deeply in my heart. 

I smiled. I felt better. 

I'm not a victim anymore; I'm free. I'm transparent - and finally talking about this feels so incredibly good. As I sit here, crying, and ready to post this huge part of my life for the world to see...I feel strong. 

We heal when we become transparent. We find community and new ways to deal with the devastating reality of the tragedy we have suffered. 

We get better. I feel better. Thank you, Jesus. <3

-jennilea. 

"God is great!"

In a dark bar with loud music in the background spewing curse words and lyrics that are way too sexual for my taste - I see people all around having fun in their environment, not realizing how incredibly lost they are.

This first act goes up and I quickly realize she is using a looping technique, which is promising - but unfortunately did not turn out to be of any quality.  There was a dancing unicorn and slinky, and I'm not entirely sure what I had witnessed.  The lyrics were fitting for the environment though - and they screamed brokenness - even though she tried to hide it through angry lyrics.

They next act revels in getting high, promiscuity and drunkenness.  You could tell they were having fun with it though - and the lead worked pretty hard to interact with the crowd.

Finally, we get to the performance I've been waiting for: Izreal Graham and the Narrow Path Band. Everything from his lyrics to the clothes Izreal wore was a representation of God's love.  In that moment, I realized why they were in this dive location - full of people who probably couldn't care less about who God is.  Izreal's stage presence took over and seriously brought church into that bar though.  As he shared his story - that the reason why he comes into these areas is with the hope that others where he had come from would be able to experience God in a way just as real as he had.  This wasn't just a performance - This was a mission field.    

Photo credit:  Maria :]

During their performance, Maria's voice was peaceful - and the lyrics were real.  She raised her arms in the air and it was suddenly a worship set - but complete hip-hop - throwing in some incredible jazz when Justin Smith Williams began playing his saxophone. Josh was incredible on the bass - and Mike was fabulous on the drums.  

Suddenly, during the set, Izreal said, "SAY GOD IS GREAT!" - Giving a pause so the audience had a chance to repeat the declaration.  To my complete surprise - they repeated it!  My first thought, okay - they are just in the moment - maybe they didn't realize the words that were being said.  He proclaimed again, "SAY GOD IS GREAT!"  Again, they repeated those same words - over and over -just as he had led them too.  Suddenly we are in a room full of people, who seconds ago may not have said those same words.  I noticed that each time Izreal proclaimed his love for God - and why he was there in that bar - to reach their hearts - the audience cheered.  

In this moment, I was reminded of a verse:  Mark 2:17 - “...It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

God doesn't call us to only sit in our churches or around our Christian friends talking about how great He is - but to take that message and deliver it to those who may not realize they are in need of His perfect love. To take it to those who may never step into a church to hear the gospel message - And that is EXACTLY what Izreal and the Narrow Path band did last night. God's word never returns void, and there is no doubt in my mind that seeds were planted.

Thanks for bringing church wherever you guys go. I couldn't be more proud to know such incredible people.

-jennilea

Decorating. Travel. Fitness.

I've been in my new home for 1 month now - and it's incredible!  Brian surprised me with some awesome decorations for my wall, which we hung up yesterday, so I am all set now.

Everything feels warm and happy - I couldn't imagine a more perfect place to be.

1 week ago, Yessica and I bought our tickets to Italy when prices took a HUGE dip!  We are leaving in just over 5 months - wow!  Flying into Rome, and exploring as much of Italy as possible.  My family has a ton of history there, so I am looking forward to seeing and learning more about that.

I'm also on my fitness like crazy!  Brian and I are on this journey together, so we started our own wee fitstagram:  @Brilea_fit - Yes, couples IG accounts are a little lame, but this helps keep both of us accountable, and motivated - so we are lame together.  haha.  I switched from doing online training at The Dungeon because I found I was just making excuse after excuse to not go in - so this is my first week back to normal in-gym training and I haven't missed a session yet!  Even more exciting, is that I am seeing some major changes in my body - and still getting stronger.  A few months ago, we started assisted muscle-ups using a false grip and resistance bands to help get up there.  One of the resistance bands I had been using broke during another session - leaving two instead of three.  I thought that would be it until Jamie brought in another one - but she had other plans.  Instead of stopping there, she had me try with the 2 bands.  I couldn't even kind of get up there.  Haha.  I was failed time after time and it all felt completely pointless - until one time, when I was finally able to get my arm up.  Within 2 weeks, I got my other arm up - and was finally able to start pulling myself up!  I'm not lifting myself all the way up at this point, but I am closer than I ever have been before.  I feel strong - and I feel confident.

So - here is to adventures and major changes!  I am declaring right here that I've remembered why I started this journey, and I am determined to make the next 8 weeks incredible as I fight my way towards the fitness level I'd like to be at.  Going from this to being healthy is just that; it's a fight. - It is a decision each day to prep my meals, drink a gallon of water, say no to the thing I am craving - unless it's a cheat meal - and to make each scheduled workout!

With the huge amount of support and love from my trainer - Jamie, Team Dungeon, my fantastic boyfriend, and from amazing friends like Kaite (seriously follow her on IG @fromchubba2hubba), Juanita, Toni, and my giiiirl Jessica - I know that I can rock this out - exactly as I have in the past.

I look forward to checking in with you guys each week to let you know how I'm doing as well.

I'd also like to thank all of you for following my journey over the past few years.  Life has changed a ton - but it is so incredibly beautiful. <3

In other news - blue whales are so enormous that a human being could swim through their largest veins. (Check out more cool facts here).

-jennilea

My New Home < 3

A 500 square ft. studio apartment is my new home!  Yep - I took that step to get my first place all on my own.  I moved in almost a week ago (taking me 1 day to fully unpack), and I love it more than I ever thought I would.

With the help of my older sister, Nicoleon, I was able to decorate it so nicely!  She also gave me the brilliant idea to remove the doors from my huge closet so I could put a bed in and BOOM: I've got a bedroom.  As you enter the studio, I have a pretty nicely sized living area where there is a very clear dining section just next to the kitchen - which is also perfectly sized!  I have a fire place, which is way fancy.  Puppy loves it too; He is also becoming a bit of a guard dog.  Not vicious by any sense of the word, but when people even pass the door, he runs up to it - occasionally barking too.  I thought this would be something I hate, but it really gives me an even greater sense of safety.

My boyfriend is actually pretty close by too.  In fact, he lives just two buildings down!  Talk about saving gas money!  Haha.  I am also much closer to work - cutting my commute down by 10-15 minutes.

Overall, I really love my new home.  It's clean all the time - and I am able to meal prep without my tupperware going missing.  I also only purchased meal plan appropriate items, to guarantee I have no other options.  I am doing super well with this whole fitness thing these days.

Other fun things - Cobie turned 1 on April 25th.  He was freshly groomed and enjoyed a piece of puppy birthday "cake" to celebrate!  Every day I love this pup even more.  He is a super genius and just amazes me with how quickly he picks things up.  His latest trick being "roll over."

Last update has to do with running!  I got super into running a few years ago - and I'm back at it again!  Brian and I have started the Couch to 5k running program.  We are in week 2 and nailing it!  Today, I am going to begin tracking our distance.  I am so excited to see the progress we make - and to get back up to running 7+ miles!

Lots of fun new things to look forward to in life.  :]

In other news: May 29th is National Put Your Pillow On Your Refrigerator Day!  I trust you will all be celebrating accordingly on this day.
(For other fun holidays, click here.)

-jennilea

This Is Where My Life Is: A Pictorial

My wonderful - amazing - incredible boyfriend, Brian.  To wake up each morning to a prayer by text is indescribable.  Praying together. Growing in God together.  These are the things in my relationship I value the most. There are times we can't stop talking to one another - and other times we sit in silence and just enjoy the company of one another.  My heart sure does enjoy him. <3

My sweet girl. My princess. I am so blessed beyond measure to be able to continue a relationship with this love. Each moment I get with her is incredible and I cherish far beyond measure. She is so smart and getting so big. I can hardly believe she was just nearly 2 when I met her. She will be 10 this year. Time sure does fly. 

The puppy - Oh man do I love my pup.  Cobie is absolutely incredible.  So smart - and definitely keeps me entertained.  

Then there is my giiiirrrrl.  My PIC.  She has been a constant encouragement in my life and always points me back to God when I need it - Plus we go on a ton of adventures so that's neat.  I love her so much. :]

My Juanita - whom I have grown incredibly close with so fast. She loves monopoly and will wait 2.5 hours with me to get a cup of free coffee from Dutch Brothers.  She loves Jesus, helps me stay sane when I feel like I'm freaking out over dumb things, and is just an overall amazing person.  Through Brian, I've gained another sister - whom I cherish so deeply.









My friends who have become my family. Brian's family is the kind of family I have always prayed for - huge and super close. Along with him, I've gained them.  Bri, Toni, and Sarah have become the girls I spend most of my time with.  They each have their amazing points:

Bri was the first person in Brian's family I really connected with.  She is hilarious - and also helps me feel better when I freak out over dumb things.  lol.  She's incredible, and I can't wait to spoil mini mimi in a few months. 
:]

Toni was the first person I met in Brian's family and it was an instant welcome.  She was kind, excited, and I absolutely love having her has a friend, family member, and cardio buddy.  She da best..

Sarah's bangs are bangin' and her eyebrows are always on point.  She is blunt - to the point - and I love it.  One of the strongest personalities I know, and just a ton of fun. Plus we both love Marilyn.  I love getting to know her - and just being around her.

Nikki has been through it all with me - enough to build an incredibly strong friendship.  I've seen her grow a ton in the last few months - and she's seen the same from me.  She is incredible, strong, and I am so proud of who she has become and all of the wonderful things she is doing.

Christina - I don't get to see her nearly enough, but she is that friend who stays solid throughout time.  I can pick up the phone at any moment, and things continue where they left off.  She keeps my head straight and makes sure I don't jump into things - while also encouraging that I jump into adventure!  It's because of her that I have such a great passion for going anywhere and doing as much as I can in life.  In short, she is awesome. 

My older seesters.  I love them.  Tara is one of the smartest people I know.  She is hilarious - and I want to be like her when I grow up.
Nicoleon sends me bear jokes and makes me laugh.  I admire her strength.  She tight.  
My two older sisters are probably my role models.  I look up to them in pretty much all areas of life.












Panda.  :]  This is one of those long distance friendships that manages to still connect like family.  I love her - and am so proud to see what she is making of her life.  She has truly risen from the lowest points to be successful and an amazing mother to her two little ones.








The rest of my life consists of games, lifting, church, and my wonderful job.  I love where life is right now.  I feel blessed to have such incredible, amazing people around me.  

I get to work full time in a ministry where God uses me each day to be the hands and feet of K-LOVE and Air1 - in a way I am so passionate about!

I am surrounded by amazing women (and men) who train incredibly hard at The Dungeon and see such extreme results!  I am inspired by Katie Felix who has made the most incredible changes in her body.  I am encouraged by Jamie, who pushes me to the vary breaking point during all of my workouts.

1 year ago - I didn't realize life could ever be this cool.