2017: A Recap

This year was rough - I mean real rough.  Not that terrible things happened constantly, but enough absolutely horrible things happened within such a short period of time, that I was left completely worn.  The crazy thing is that it seems as if everyone I know dealt with some sort of tragedy that made 2017 really suck.

When I sat down to think about all the things that happened this year, I was honestly completely dreading it, until I started to write it all down. There have been so many incredible moments in 2017, that I can honestly say it's actually been pretty wonderful.

January: I did the Christmas Bird Count. We received engagement photos. I ran my first half marathon, went to Disneyland, threw a surprise 30th birthday party for Brian, and my bridesmaids got their dresses.

February: Baby Corey was born, I started aerial yoga, and began my 100 Days of Fitness Challenge.

March: I tried the "Gray Stuff" at Disneyland, watched Melissa get married, and went to the bridal preview at our wedding venue

April: I took Cobie and Brian to visit friends at Hartland Christian Camp, fed the homeless with New Hope Street Ministry, surprised Brian's mom with a spontaneous trip to Disneyland, helped clean up the Auburn State Recreational Area for Earth Day, bawled my eyes out at Zach and Emily's wedding, and had a bridesmaids night with my ladies.

May: I had photos taken in honor of 3 years of freedom from domestic violence, tried Disney Bounding for the first time, ran a Disney 10k, Brian got baptized, and Jadelynn graduated from 6th grade.

June: We found tuxes for Brian and our Groomsmen, figured out our table numbers, and enjoyed a night out with my bridesmaids.

July: I took a trip to Denver to work an event with for KING & COUNTRY, enjoyed the lake with family, baseball games, and FINALLY was able to complete the Vitruvian Man at Aerial Yoga. We celebrated the 4th of July and my friendiversary with Bri. Brian made our guest book. I traveled to Washington for a 3-Day Festival, our wedding invitations came in, and Meloney surprised me with a day out as I faced one of the most difficult months of my life.  Brian and I also escaped to Lake Tahoe to try to get out of the sadness we had faced through this month.

August: I had a night out with my girls at Aerial Yoga, 10 Year High School Reunion, Brian moved to our new home. I went to SoCal for Harvest Crusade, saw a Padres game, the eclipse, escaped a room with my sister, and went kayaking in the ocean. I also got my tattoo touched up and saw One Republic with Jessica.

September: After months of planning, we served 130 moms at our Single Moms Event.  Celebrated my Bridal shower, Jadelynn's 12th birthday, and hung out with Sarah and her bridal party to celebrate her.  We got the best dang couches in the world, and Lara and Kalie threw me a surprise Bridal Shower at work.

October: Jessica and I danced with The Fitness Marshall.  I did my hair and makeup run through for the wedding, collected thousands of pieces of soap for WEAVE.  We got the PERFECT wedding cake topper from Meloney, my wedding jewelry, my dad made a miraculous recovery after dying twice from a heart attack. We celebrated my bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, Treat Yoself Spa Day with my bridesmaids, Welcome to the Family drinks, and FINALLY had our Wedding Day.  Immediately after, we headed to Belize, where our honeymoon was literally everything we hoped it would be. October did have some bumps, but overall it was a month of healing and new beginnings.

November: Meloney and I enjoyed Brett Eldredge and Luke Bryan. I helped build 1500 bikes for kids, ran another half marathon, celebrated Stacie and her Bachelorette Party in Reno - where I dominated against Bri (who wins everything) at Sumo Wrestling. The Eagles beat the Cowboys, I spent time with Meloney, Chris, and their little ones at Apple Hill and brought in my birthday with a game night, gifts, and cake with my husband and the best brother and sister in-love in the world!  My husband took me to The Melting Pot for my birthday dinner, and we celebrated Thanksgiving 3 times (my new family, first family, and with my Jadelynn family).


December: This month has been busy!  We kicked the month off by watching Jacob and Stacie get married, rang the bell for the Salvation Army, had winter summit with the Events Team, won the ugly sweater contest with the #GoldenGirls at the office. We celebrated our volunteers at a Volunteer Christmas party, went to Disneyland, watched the Eagles beat the Rams LIVE (thanks, Brian), explored Christmas lights with David and Christina, got a fire pit and market lights for our backyard, cut a million inches off of my hair, got our wedding video, saw the Impractical Jokers live, and spent 2 weeks puppy-sitting Eugene. Lara and I presented the first ever K-LOVE Share the Love Award to Destiny Church and Community Center. For the first time in our home, Brian and I hosted the 5th Annual Christmas party with some of our best friends.  I helped the Salvation Army in giving 2500 families a Christmas, brought Christmas to over 30 boys at the Sacramento Children's Home, and baked cookies with Nikki, and Corey. Brian and I went to another ugly sweater party, spent Christmas with my new family, my first family, and with my dad - which led to a spontaneous Oregon trip to pet baby tigers and other cool animals. We threw a surprise party for Jackie, beat ANOTHER escape room (17 down - #undefeated), and tonight I'll bring in the New Year with Melony, Chris, my nieces, Jadelynn and her sister, and my wonderful husband.

This year has been a year with lots of tears, an insane amount of restless nights, stress, broken relationships, and a lots and lots of really hard moments. However, a spark of hope was found through prayer and complete surrender of all of those tough things to God.  He came through with answered prayers, restored friendships, much-needed closure, and by giving me some of the most incredible blessings I get to call family.

This year I'm grateful for long drives, runs, talks, and experiences with Bri.  I'm grateful for my sister Tara, who has shown me that no matter what I am loved and that it's okay to take time for myself. I am grateful for Meloney and Chris, who have prayed for me, talked me down from really broken moments, whisked me away on adventures, and always seem to know the right thing to say. Adventure after adventure with Jessica and double date nights with Christina and David.  I am thankful my dad is still here and that we have the opportunity to create a real father-daughter relationship. I'm blessed to have the most incredible mom and to be getting even closer with my sister Jacki and with Jadelynn's mom, Tabitha.

Most of all, I am so so blessed to have the most incredible husband in the world. Brian is my biggest fan and cheerleader.  You have been more patient with me than I could have ever asked for.  You've cried with me, held me in silence when I needed it, and cheered me on and prayed with and for me when I felt like I couldn't take on any more. You are without a doubt, the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.  I love you more than words could ever express.

2018 is nearly here, and I'm moving into the new year with high expectations for a lot of new, wonderful memories to be made.

-jennilea

Grateful

For the first time in my life, I've struggled to find things to be grateful for while facing some very dark times. 

I've struggled in processing through pain, and have not trusted God with the hurts I was facing. I got stuck in bitterness, anger, sadness, anxiety...I was depressed. It was the most terrifying place to be in because I didn't know if or when it would end. 

Something happened to someone very special to me. The worst possible thing I could have ever imagined. When I experience tough things, my outlet is to write about it, but this isn't my story to tell. So how do I process through the most heartbreaking news when I can't even talk about it? How can things ever be made right after tragedy? And why the heck are all the bad things deciding to happen all at the same time?

The weight of it all is so heavy. It hurts and I feel like I'm breathing underwater, fighting for even just a small gasp of air.

I'm not the only one trying to process through things though. People all over the world are going through things. It's apparent on the news, in the lives of my friends, on my social media feeds - things just feel so broken. Are they always going to feel so broken?

Everything is just...sad. How can you be grateful when everything around you is just a mess?

In church last Sunday, one of our Pastors was talking about change and growth; in order to grow, you have to change. "Not all change causes growth, but all growth requires change." Things have certainly changed, but it's how we react to that change that either holds us back or produces growth. Our Pastor also mentioned that if we didn't like how life felt in that moment, then we need to ask God what areas He wants us to grow in. This isn't necessarily easy, and the process could most certainly hurt. This resonated with me in such a huge way. 

I think I knew my prayer life was lacking, and God used one person...one Sunday service to point out that I need to have a chat with Jesus. 

Over the past week, I've been in constant prayer both on my own and with others. I've focused on disconnecting from social media and things that don't have much positive impact on my life. I've stopped comparing myself and the relationships I have with others. For one week, I've focused on Jesus and the incredibly beautiful things He has blessed me with. 

I am grateful. 

I am grateful for morning, but more grateful to go to sleep. I am gateful for late night talks and spontaneous hangouts. I am grateful for people who speak life into my life and into the lives of others. I am grateful for prayer, growth, and healthy communication with Brian. I am grateful for the church and work family that I have, who has held me up in prayer constantly.  I am grateful that "this too shall pass" and for each and every promise God has given us. I am grateful for strength in my body that decides to show up through running, aerial yoga, weight training, boxing, etc. I am grateful for the people who inspire me, and that I'm able to return the favor as well. I am grateful for the outpouring of love and support I see people giving each other....

I am just, grateful. 

It's been over a month since I last felt like myself, and I am finally feeling better! I'm grateful that pain is just a season  and I choose to praise God though all parts of life.

As we continue forward through this storm, I pray for more bright spots - and I would love if you'd pray with me too.

-jennilea