Two years later...

Facebook has been a great reminder that it's been two years since my life both became a total mess and started to come together.  Everything from photos I took the exact date I was last cheated on, to the day I made the decision to leave - the posts say it all.  Reliving these moments can be really painful, but more than anything I realize I am so grateful to not have to physically relive those same moments as I often did in the past.

Two years ago today I posted about my decision to remove myself from an abusive marriage and I still remember how much my heart trembled as I hit the "publish" button, knowing my entire life was about to become public, feeling shame for my marriage ending, and more broken than I ever had been before. I didn't know what kind of reaction I would receive.  I had no answers as to what I would be doing next.  Nothing was certain.

Before I knew it, I had comments and message after message which made me aware that I was not at all alone. People I know, love, work with, went to school with...they had dealt with similar pains.  No one was upset with me for my decision; all I experienced was love, acceptance, understanding, and affirmation in how I was feeling.  Every single message I read was instrumental in helping me heal. Through these messages and conversations, I was pointed back to the incredible God I serve, and I learned that I should feel no shame in the decision I made.  I never asked for what happened, and I certainly did not deserve it.

Two years later, I own my story and stand in confidence as I tell it to others.
Two years later, I am made new.
Two years later, I feel safe.
Two years later, I know my worth - and expect nothing less.
Two years later, I have discovered what it truly means to be loved as Christ loved the church.

Two years later, I am free.

-jennilea <3